I will say this: I’ve never been an 'acts of service' kind of gal until I became a mom. For some, this love language is very much appreciated and shows immense love. Perhaps your spouse feels most loved when you run some much-needed errands, clean up after dinner, or help the kids with their homework so they can take a little time for self-care. This love language values action it feels the love when served through helpful acts of kindness. He had to learn that talking it out didn’t make me feel cared for, so reaching out to hold me or carving out time to be with me went a long way. I had to develop the ability to speak tenderly to his heart and show him I meant it. Ryan didn’t feel loved when I held his hand in silence, as I would enjoy. Which meant, we had to recalibrate how we showed love to each other. When we first started dating, we learned quickly that we received love differently. For me, I crave quality time and physical touch, so I’m all about snuggling up on the couch together when I want to connect. He longs to connect emotionally through conversation and really appreciates when those words are backed up with action. For my husband, he desires words of affirmation and acts of service. Whether we are recovering from a fight, experiencing grief, or just want to show some love, we’ve learned over the years it takes a little understanding and growth to reach each other. My husband and I are on very different pages when it comes to how we share and receive love. Human beings, he proposes, each have a primary love language-the way they best give and receive love. Chapman backs up this observation with over 25 years of research.

Understanding how those you care about feel loved will empower you to show them love in the most meaningful way. Dr. By understanding where you fall and where the people you love identify, you can connect more deeply in your relationships. In this groundbreaking resource, Chapman identified five languages of love essentially, how people receive and share love. The expression of one’s love and how they receive it was made clearer when pastor Gary Chapman published the book, The Five Love Languages.

Author of the 5 love languages